Yesterday was another big day for me, filled with a strange impartiality to the objects I once held so dear. I had another yard sale in the morning, unfortunately it was on a weekend that an event was happening one town over. Thus I didn't do nearly as well as I had the first time I sold my things. It could also have been that I didn't put up any signs either, so...yeah! Alot of it went straight to the "free" pile left out on the sidewalk and then to Goodwill.
It was very strange, though. To look at all those things I'd sworn to myself I'd not part with...or at the very least have a hard time doing so... And see them as they are, simple objects holding me down, keeping me back. It's not that I see them as garbage, but that I realize I do not need them. And because I do not need them I no longer desire them.
It was freedom in the most tangible form I've yet to discover. It was beautiful.
After that I hung out with a friend and we traveled around a recreational area nearby the river. It was so peaceful, so calm. I adored it. I realized that if I hadn't been selling my things and they were all still stuffed into my small home I'd probably be spending my Saturday cleaning them up. Instead I got to hang out with my good friend and after...well...
I mean, literally, too. I had just left my friend's house, heading out to get my hair cut until my other friend got off of work when he called to let me know he was just getting off. There was a pillar nearby, completely void of anything on top and comfortably flat. Its cool self was shaded by the many trees along the roadside and so I climbed atop it and looked out.
I soon realized that the freeway exit nearby always had cars getting off and the nearby overpass was also always dotted with a car or two. So I made a small pact. I would not move from that spot until my friend came to pick me up or I could see no moving cars in view.
And so I simply sat as I watched person after person drive on by. Some stared straight ahead, some fumbled with stuff in their car and others talked on their phones. The best times, however, were when people saw me on my pillar top staring right at them as they passed. Some could not, in an awkward way, keep eye contact while others did not want to break their own gaze. I'm glad that the street had such a low speed limit because now that I think of it that could have been a little dangerous!
I sat there, on my pillar, for fifty minutes before I could see no cars in sight.
After that I stood up, stretched, and moved on. It made me put my life into perspective just a little more, to realize that with or without me the world goes on. Instead of making me feel sad it comforted me. It let me know that problems come and they go and that life still continues all the same. I have my choices to make and so does everyone else. I felt more in control of choices.