I've been thinking about how I would want to live my life, if I could live it in any way I so desired.
There are more ideas bouncing around in my head than I can count, but if I could narrow it down...
It would be living in a travel trailer, as a minimalist, thriving off of my own writing.
Yes, I would have one of my best buds there with me, and we would go off and travel every cranny and corner of whatever interested us in California. I would continue striving to achieve my dreams, of which many would come true through this lifestyle. I would have to drop a few others dreams, though. I think I could live with that.
I have to ask myself though, could I really live in a travel trailer?
It's smaller than what I've ever lived in before. I'd have to get rid of quite a bit of my stuff, too... But really, stuff has always been my issue. Stuff has always gotten in my way. Spending time where I feel it is most needed, doing what I want to do in my spare time. I'd like the stuff to go away and begin my life anew. Without all the extra baggage.
Normally I keep stuff because it has sentimental value, or because someone I love gave it to me... And I know I will never forget the treasured feeling the person gave to me, but do I really need to keep a jacket my grandmother gave me that I never wear? Or a little statue my father gave me years ago?
Some of it, yes, is important to keep. There are just things I'm not ready to give up yet, I may never be able to... But the rest...what is the rest?
Is it all just another obstacle to surpass? One more step to take in an effort to continue my journey?
And I've never been one to share my personal space well, it's just something I've had to grow through as I myself grew. I'm still learning how to better share the space around me. Would I truly be able to conquer that problem and live with someone in such confined quarters?
I'd like to think that I can. I'd like to think that the person I've decided to live with accepts me for my little quirks, both good and bad. And that they'll understand when I decide to be off on my own, just enjoying my introverted personality. I've always enjoyed my own company first and foremost and I like it that way.
Besides the problem with giving away my things and having less space, I guess I would also have to deal with a less than secure environment.
I love the feeling of safety I have out in the middle of the orchards where I dwell. The tossling of the leaves in the singing wind and the calls of the coyotes are the only things I need worry about here. Could I give up that comfort for a life of travel? Constantly moving and facing what nature and humanity decides to send my way?
I'd like to think I can, eventually. And with my luck eventually will come faster than I expect.
I want to take my chances and defy the life that I've been leading, chasing down adventures in my imagination and ruing the life I currently allow myself to live. I want to get out there and take a few risks, ones I wouldn't dare think of commiting to three years ago.
So where will I be in three more years? What will have changed about me and my dreams?
What about life in three months from now?
I've been thinking, dreaming...hoping.
I've made some hard decisions.
I'm changing my life.
I'm going for it.