Back and In Action! What Have I Been Up To?

Finally, after two whole months, my life has gotten back on track and I do so swear that when I say those two months were "hectic" I'm making quite the understatement. I desperately needed the time I spent away to get everything both in my head and on my plate cleared away before I could come back to blogging, lest I spend most of my time on here crying and complaining about how life is so unfair and so on and so forth.

But, as I said, I'm back and ready to start hitting the keys with all the details of my latest adventures and escapades! And believe me, they're big in my books. For now, I think I'll just list them and go into detail later one post at a time. Let's count in Japanese, shall we? Such fun!~



Ichi:

I've confronted a few of my biggest comfort zone issues!

          - Opening up to others, which includes: Talking about my problems, relying on close friends and relatives for help and support, and trusting them with some of my deeper thoughts.

          - My fear of the dark. Okay, okay, I know how silly that sounds and in my defense I live out in the middle of nowhere. Still, it was a terrific victory upon which I have much to say-- later.

          -  Stepping out into the world and trying new things. Now, I won't go into too much detail here, because this one is really a major tie-in for later. It does involve lots of driving, perhaps moving and meeting new people.



Ni:

I'm reading and writing more than I have in years. Not just manga or articles online, but actual sit down and hold in your hands books! I've been scouring Goodwill, local bookstores and the library in town to find whatever takes my interest. I read over half of two books just this weekend! It was outstanding! My library is getting bigger by the day. So, what have I been reading?

          - "Steampunk!: An Anthology of Rich and Strange Stories". A grand book filled with short stories which were all placed together and edited by Kelly Link and Gavin J. Grant. Each piece has its own almost leisurely pace about how the plot line rolls along, but just as the reader is placed into a false sense of security they are whisked up in epic climaxes, for the good or bad of the characters within.

          - "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Golden. Many know this book from the movie that came out in 2005. It is a remarkable telling of a fictional Geisha's life who was sold to an Okiya (where Geisha live) at a very young age and who, through the toughest of odds, becomes a beautiful young woman and symbol of the Geisha arts in her own right. From what I've researched not all Golden's information is accurate, but for an art so well protected Golden does a terrific job in storytelling.

           - "The Secret Garden" by France Hodgson Burnett. A classic about a young and spoiled orphan aristocrat who must leave behind one life for another far from her desert home. Now living in an old manor along a moor belonging to her uncle she learns of a secret garden locked away and the stories it carries within it. Throughout her time in the manor she changes not only the new people in her life, but herself most of all.



San:

This one is a secret. A well kept, much guarded secret known only to the few in my life privy to the information because, quite frankly, it would be mean if I didn't tell them about it. The reason I don't yet tell the blogging realms? Because that's just how superstitious I am about making this secret, a certain dream of mine I've not yet shared, into a reality I will in fact be living in a few more months if everything goes as planned.

I know, I know, it has been terribly hard to not shout it out from the rooftops, yet my better judgement shouts a little louder every time I get the hankering to do so. I must be patient and keep this secret under wraps, at least until I know whether or not it will work in my favor. If it doesn't...well, this is going to be one lame secret.



Okay, so this has gone on a little longer than I thought it would. And I haven't nearly covered as much as I wanted to. Expect to see a part II perhaps, until then have a great day!

What's My Dream Life?

I've been thinking about how I would want to live my life, if I could live it in any way I so desired.

There are more ideas bouncing around in my head than I can count, but if I could narrow it down...

It would be living in a travel trailer, as a minimalist, thriving off of my own writing.

Yes, I would have one of my best buds there with me, and we would go off and travel every cranny and corner of whatever interested us in California. I would continue striving to achieve my dreams, of which many would come true through this lifestyle. I would have to drop a few others dreams, though. I think I could live with that.

I have to ask myself though, could I really live in a travel trailer?

It's smaller than what I've ever lived in before. I'd have to get rid of quite a bit of my stuff, too... But really, stuff has always been my issue. Stuff has always gotten in my way. Spending time where I feel it is most needed, doing what I want to do in my spare time. I'd like the stuff to go away and begin my life anew. Without all the extra baggage.

Normally I keep stuff because it has sentimental value, or because someone I love gave it to me... And I know I will never forget the treasured feeling the person gave to me, but do I really need to keep a jacket my grandmother gave me that I never wear? Or a little statue my father gave me years ago?

Some of it, yes, is important to keep. There are just things I'm not ready to give up yet, I may never be able to... But the rest...what is the rest?

Is it all just another obstacle to surpass? One more step to take in an effort to continue my journey?

And I've never been one to share my personal space well, it's just something I've had to grow through as I myself grew. I'm still learning how to better share the space around me. Would I truly be able to conquer that problem and live with someone in such confined quarters?

I'd like to think that I can. I'd like to think that the person I've decided to live with accepts me for my little quirks, both good and bad. And that they'll understand when I decide to be off on my own, just enjoying my introverted personality. I've always enjoyed my own company first and foremost and I like it that way.

Besides the problem with giving away my things and having less space, I guess I would also have to deal with a less than secure environment.

I love the feeling of safety I have out in the middle of the orchards where I dwell. The tossling of the leaves in the singing wind and the calls of the coyotes are the only things I need worry about here. Could I give up that comfort for a life of travel? Constantly moving and facing what nature and humanity decides to send my way?

I'd like to think I can, eventually. And with my luck eventually will come faster than I expect.

I want to take my chances and defy the life that I've been leading, chasing down adventures in my imagination and ruing the life I currently allow myself to live. I want to get out there and take a few risks, ones I wouldn't dare think of commiting to three years ago.

So where will I be in three more years? What will have changed about me and my dreams?

What about life in three months from now?

I've been thinking, dreaming...hoping.

I've made some hard decisions.

I'm changing my life.

I'm going for it.

Running Over My Dislike Of Running

A runner's sunset. My reward tonight for a job well done.

If, on any occasion, I ever deserved a little gold star, today would be the day.

Yes, that's right.

I am absolutely and completely proud of myself, for I accomplished what I thought I could not do. Or rather, what I really really didn't want to do.

I went running. Argh!!

Now, now. I know for some out there running comes second nature. It's as easy as breathing or eating...yet for some of us we are not so lucky. I'm among the "some of us" for certain. I've dealt with asthma throughout my lifetime and have quite willingly used that as a crutch to keep myself from overexertion in the running area of my life. High school's P.E. was nearly hellish for me when it came to the mile run. The irony was that my gym teacher never did know of my asthma, I probably should have pointed that out to her at some point...

Quite honestly though, I've always been a bit sickly and that doesn't really help with my prospective dreams for the future. As such, I had decided earlier on today to try and do some running as soon as I got home. And a half hour after getting home and settling down I grabbed my Labrador Retriever and set off.

 I ran two miles.

...

Technically I jogged for a while, gasped for air, continued to jog, walked and enjoyed the scenery, jogged some more, did the fish out of water bit and then got my second wind.

But I did it! I didn't quit, I didn't let myself take a single shortcut!

You've got to savor the little victories, you really do.

I'm very pleased with how I've been stretching out my comfort zone lately, especially in this regard. To actually go running for the sake of running is a huge deal for me. Normally I just jump on my trampoline until I'm near dead.

And the yoga thing, too. I haven't quit on it, though I'm not doing it as often as I really should. It's a great indicator that though I'm still me and I still have my moments of slothfulness my dreams are still more important than just doing what I always do.

I want to keep achieving what I'm achieving, I want to continue growing in whatever way I can, even if it's just a little bit every day. And I hope everyone else does, too.

Let's keep going strong, everyone! Let's show the world exactly what we're capable of!

What Are My Dreams, Anyway?

So, what exactly are my dreams?

Some are big and some are small. A few only need me to take on a new attitude while others will require a bit of hard work. The rest? They'll take my entire lifetime to achieve.

I know I won't manage to make each and every one come true. And yet that's the very beauty of dreams, how they are mine and mine alone to breathe life into. It is within my power to achieve them or release them, I'm the one responsible for making them wither or raise up within my life, in the most glorious way they can.

So, yet again, what exactly are my dreams?

Short Term Goals  


Goals that, if I maintain constantly, will give me quick results

• Have A Manicured Yard
• Have a Consistently Clean House
• Maintain A Self-Discovery Blog
• Maintain A Fit And Healthy Body
• Save Money To Visit Nearby Conventions
• Seek Out Adventures, Both Big And Small, In My Everyday Life
• Practice The Beginnings of The Minimalist or Voluntary Simplicity Lifestyle

Long Term Goals

Goals that, if I maintain constantly, will eventually give me results

• Compete In Ninja Warrior
• Voice Act Successfully In An Anime
• Compete In Anime Expo's "Ax Idol"
• Raise My Self Confidence Extrodinarily
• Write A Successful Fiction Novel
• Write A Successful Self-Help Book
• Acquire A Masters Degree In Psychology
• Voice Act In A Fable Video Game
• Figure Out The Career Of My Dreams 
• Speak French Fluently
• Speak Spanish Fluently
• Speak Japanese Fluently
• Speak Chinese Fluently

Lifetime Goals

Goals that I will never truly finish, as there is no end to them

• Obtain Inner Peace
• Attain Self-Actualization
• Become Proficient In Tai Chi Chuan
• Become Well Rounded In Self Defense

Merriam-Webster describes a dream as: "a strongly desired goal or purpose". 


The next step? To find the courage to leave my comfort zone and seek out the ways to achieve each and every one.

I Have Achieved My Dreams

I have achieved my dreams.

I stand before myself in the mirror and breathe in deep. I close my eyes and let the weight of time hold on my shoulders, all that I have committed to I have completed. I have lived an enduring life, one of which I can freely say I have little regret in.

I let these thoughts sink in and smile, not just from the outside of my body, but within.

I have achieved my dreams.

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I have no doubt in my mind that it will be quite some time before I can stand before myself and make such a boast, but this blog is one of the first steps among many I have begun to make to make this into a reality.

This is what The Balancing Owl is all about. My attempts to achieve each and every dream I set out for, whether I make it or not. That, and the journey to making them happen. I'm excited to be here and I plan to chronicle my growth as best possible.

Here goes!